a look inside:
The Poet Inside Me
By Simran Kalita
Uncover a glimpse into a collection filled with raw emotions. Love, heartbreak, self-discovery, and girlhood. This book follows a teenage girl becoming a young woman, embarking on a journey into the quintessential human experience.
Selfish
Call me selfish
You’re not the firstIs it a crime
To ask for your hands
As though they were made only to mold the shape of my body
To ask for your eyes
And promise to only start dreaming when they peer into mine
To ask for your lips
Because they were meant to taste only meCall me selfish
But am I not selflessTell me is it wrong
To offer you my heart
As though you are the only one worthy of my love
To give you every last inch of me
And promise to only ever let your hands wander me
To sacrifice all of my peace
Because your storm was meant to take complete control over me
page 28, chapter "Love"
Loving you
Missing the way it felt
When life wasn’t boring
Trying to capture that moment with someone else
As if it wasn’t burned in my brain, your smile
Tracing lines where someone else had touched
All the times I wished it was you instead
Crying from the agony because I still wanted you
But you’re dead to me
Following a ghost
You were never really here
Floating through life chasing your shadow
Letting the wind sweep me any direction
Where are you
Where did you go
When we were finally happy
Feeling everything inside me turn empty
We will never be
Hoping the clouds move past to bring you back to me
How can this be so ugly
With not a single person’s faith in me
I see something in light
I see something in you
But my eyes follow blindly like a prophet
I only cause divide
I only cause pain
Whether it’s you and me or the ones around us
There’s no one like us
There’s no one like us
I wish this upon no one
page 115, chapter "Him"
Extreme perfectionism
Nothing is ever enough
Not this piece of art, nor the way that you look at me
It’s like you don’t even need me
I’m using every inch of my fingers to mold the shape of clay
That lies across the table from you
Pushing and pulling and over-perfecting
Because it’s still not good enough
Light foundation on every inch of my skin because my reflection isn’t perfection
Doing and redoing and throwing it all out again
Dyeing the colors that take you back to harmony
Chewing on chalk to make my voice sound like a symphony
Molding and folding till my fingers go numb and fall off steadily
It’s like you can’t even see me
I have a case of extreme perfectionism
One that makes everyone hate me
However the antidote is your company
I’m worried even that won’t get it rid from me
page 187, chapter "Reflection in your eyes"
365
When the world falls quiet
And the fireworks light up the sky
Let the earth beneath you
Swallow you whole without a soundGive in to the melody
As the music vibrates your body
Let the ringing of their screams
Encapsulate your inner thoughtsNot a soul in the world
Can feel the way you feel
So beautiful, in your bountiful
Arise with the ocean wavesAnother revolution around the sun
An inevitable rotation that can’t be undone
Kiss the people you want to see again
Kiss me quick, before the year comes to an end
page 219, chapter "Thoughts that don't compare"
Squiggle
He made me feel like a squiggle in a world full of straight lines.
My body curved at every point where his fingers touched me.
page 32, chapter "Love"
Drift
Drift away
All you can do is leave
Go on
Do your magic
And I’ll sip the poison as I watch you goI want you to leave
I want you to stay
I can’t make up my mind
But when you’re near me
You’re my favorite song
And I’m addicted to your rhythmYou’re a magnet inching closer to my helix
I’m on this gas that makes me hurt
You make me hurt
But you make me lovedAnd as our loving bodies wrap around each other
You seal the night with one last kiss
Before you drift away to come back again
page 239, chapter "Thoughts"
Replacing
Removing you from the system doesn’t make me bleed out less
It doesn’t make the nights easier to fall asleep
Doesn’t even let me breathe with a heavy chestSubtracting you from the equation doesn’t mean there’s more room for someone else to fit in
There’s still a hole where you left me like a puzzle piece, and I’m incomplete
The air still smells like the remnants of youForcing myself to forget we ever had a chance doesn’t mean my brain can erase the memories of the moments when time felt like it stopped just for the two of us
It doesn’t mean that the boy I fell in love with wasn’t ever there at all
It doesn’t mean that I don’t still want to just hit rewind and go fucking backLosing you doesn’t mean that I don’t still feel lost, that I’m not missing a part of me
That I don’t still believe I need to right all my wrongs with you, tell you all about my days without you
I still think you careFolding your note in half, muting your messages, cutting all contact doesn’t make you dead in my life
You’re still very much alive
And wherever your heartbeat may be, as long as it’s beating, mine stays beating too
page 132, chapter "Him"